To Tame a Wolf: Less than Interesting.

I suppose the story goes like it always does: Days go by when I don’t have devotions and I learn something both terrible and truthful about myself.

Ah yes. It’s the old story. I know it full well.

And that is just what happened, by the way.
I don’t know how the ball got rolling, but before I knew it, it had been like five days and I found myself saying, “Lord, I miss you. And I feel like I need to be reminded of how this relationship thing with you works again. I can slip backwards much too fast.”

All that to be said, my very dear friend, Wren, came to visit over the weekend. You might remember her from my most recent trip to Europe. Anyway, she is just the willing subject I needed to put to use for a photo shoot for my business (yes, another one).

She had never been to my home before, so it was fun to have her here. And always a little nerve-wracking, if I do admit, to have people in your house for the first time. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. My design if very illustrative of who I am, and so…well…I always hope all is met with warm reception.
Anyway. We had a great time, and gracious she is. And I was touched, too, by something she said. But what she said is also what caught me, too. I was giving her a tour of my house when she said, “Oh B, I love your house, all of your little collections all around. If only I had your brain to come up with this stuff. All of those good ideas of yours. It’s all so interesting.”
Gracious, like I said.
I was caught by what she said

A. Because I don’t think I have great ideas most of the time.

B. Because I will be the first to admit that I have no idea where any of these ideas come from in the first place, so obviously I cannot take any credit for them

C. Because when she told me that I was feeling especially….boring…not interesting at all. As in, I hadn’t had any kind of good idea in, well, a number of days, and how interesting is my brain when it has no ideas?

It was that last point that made me stop the most: I hadn’t had a good idea in a while and was, truthfully, feeling REALLY boring.

Then I remembered what I told you: I hadn’t had any real time with the Lord in a while.

And then I put two and two together: Any good idea I have comes from him. And anything about me that is somehow above boring must be from him, too. Because when I take him out of the equation I am just, well, nothing to write home about, and for sure nothing to refer to as “interesting.” Nothing. I cling to worthless idols, I desire nothing above a menial existence, I would rather sit at home with tea and toast than be out braving new frontiers and taking territories for Him. I have no fight in me, I have no vision, I see no possibilities, I believe Him for no big things.

That’s me without him. And I was reminded of how easily I can slip back into being one of those “simple ones, who love their simple ways.” (Proverbs 1:22)

It was a shocking thought, no doubt. To realize that left to my own devices I am just so overwhelmingly…blah.

It proved that verse to me true: “Apart from me you can do nothing.”
Which is really him saying, “I am what makes you…you.”

Do you ever feel like you need him to say that to you? For him to kind of put you in your place? Cut down your pride? Put you back in a spot of dependence upon him by revealing to you your own startling inabilities? Bring you down to reality again so as not to be one of those pots that tells the potter how to make it (Romans 9:20-21)?

It’s good. God’s got to discipline those he loves. I give him liberty to do that in my life.
And I am reminded of just how much he will share his glory with no man.
Rightfully so, for what glory do we think we have that he has not given us?

In getting back in right standing with him I was reading through Ephesians and over and over again was just humbled by how very explicitly he says, “Any glory, any grace, any fullness you possess—it comes from me. For I am the fullness “who fills everything in every way.” (Ephesians 1:23)

Yes. Yes. Be it a truth I know in my heart.

~~~

It’s been bitterly cold here this week. Like, BITTERLY. As in, there were a few days that it didn’t get above zero. I am not joking.

The worst part is that there wasn’t any snow to speak of. Last week it was balmy and warm, which makes snow melt. Naturally.
So this morning when I woke up and saw the snow I was elated, because a lot of us who live up north like I do have the thought of “If it’s going to be this freezing cold there better at least be snow to look at.”

And I was reminded about that verse:

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease” (Genesis 8:22)

Thank you, Lord, that your order prevails.