Ebbs.

The last move I made brought me back to where I grew up. Same county, same city, even the same street. I live right close to my parents. It was a welcomed sigh of relief when I didn’t have to learn anything new. I know all of the haunts, I know all of the roads, I know where to go to get the best groceries. I find myself walking in the same fields and biking the same trails every day.
Most things look the same.

Same sunset...although these windmills weren't here when I was a kid.

But somehow I am noticing it’s not the same.

I have grown with and seen the changes happen in my family over the years, so they don’t seem new or different at all, but other things….other people…..well, there I can tell.

Isn’t it funny how your life ebbs and flows? Almost like the tides. For the longest time you can find yourself in the same job, the same social circle, the same church, the same routine. Then, all of the sudden, almost without recognition, you realize those aren’t your jobs, social groups, churches, routines anymore. All has changed, all has moved, even if YOU haven’t moved. Physically, I mean. I am convinced that Believers in Jesus Christ are constantly being moved and changed spiritually, emotionally, mentally, but what if you haven’t sold your house? What if your geography hasn’t changed? What if you live, like I do now again, on the same street you have for what seems like forever? How is it that your home-base can stay the same while everything else has moved just like the tides? In, and then out. Back, and then forth. Shapes changing, moving keys and players with ease.

I think I am seeing this change the most in my social circle, or the one I had when I lived here. The collective “We” have moved away, or gotten different schedules, or gotten married. We have changed our beliefs, we are going towards different goals, we now lead different lifestyles. Who knew that how others live their life can have such a shaping, or influencing, effect on your own?!

The ebb and flow in this aspect of my life almost makes me feel like I am “the new girl” again. As if I either need to A. Get to know them again, or B. Get to know others.
How strange!   

Seeing things with new eyes probably doesn’t help the situation either. I won’t harp on the fact again (and again) that I am different now than I was years ago, but it is a factor in this whole “The New Girl” equation.

I was telling Wren on our trip to Europe, “You know, we are the sum total of all our experiences. Every day that something happens, or every day that nothing happens, adds something to who we are, or weeds something else out.” This being the case then, it would be silly to think that you can go somewhere and all of the sudden be new, be different than who you are, or be exactly the way you were way-back-when.
Days have happened to all of us. Experiences have been played out. We have been changed.

I can find myself being overwhelmed, or feeling as if I can’t catch my footing. Questioning what it is I am doing or where I am going. Do you ever feel that way? Wondering how “the new normal” is going to look for a while?

Aren’t you glad, then, that God doesn’t change?

That he is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8)?
I love the fact that God is the Alpha and the Omega. He is the Beginning and the End.
And now, more than ever, I am convinced he must be the Middle, too.
Wolfies, I am thankful for that.

Be encouraged. He started you, He will finish you, and today? He is walking with you in the middle.