A Ruined Approval.

I think maybe the worst part about having a springtime vacation in the south is returning north to find that here Spring hasn’t gotten the memo to open her door and tell us all to come in and make ourselves comfortable.

This doesn't look like Spring to me.

Ok, so maybe Spring has never said that to you.

But this holy Holiday weekend in the South, she told that to me.

And I did. Goodness sakes. The green (“Colors exist other than white and black?” I asked, suffering from a mild bout of amnesia.), the warm breezes, snow-free patios bedecked with furniture that wanted me to sit for a spell (which I DID).

 

 

I LOVE reading about food. Yes.

 

A trio of cousins.

Sigh.

It was lovely.

Here back in my reality I am telling myself that Spring really will be here in a few short weeks…but I think at this point I actually doubt it ever will. I feel like it’s almost too much to ask for.

Oh dearest South.

You have ruined me.

Isn’t it funny how some things do that to a person?

Warm weather.

Certain kinds of coffee.
Really nice bathrooms (I…love….nice bathrooms).
Travel.
Love.
A very specific kind of fine point pen.

All of these things have ruined me in one form or another.

No. Not the kind of ruined where I am like inconsolably unfixable, just “ruined” in the sense of “I can never go back.”

Bathrooms, for instance. There was this one time where I was invited to go such and such a place to celebrate New Year’s. And it would have been a fine outing. Trouble is, it was like an hour and a half away from my house and I didn’t want to get a hotel.

And I didn’t want to drive in the middle of the night by myself. But….but…I also didn’t want to stay at the host’s house.  
Why?
Because I couldn’t stand the thought of having to use that bathroom.
Why?

Because I was in America, and had a nice, clean bathroom of my own that I preferred using (which---let me point something out. Call me a snob---go ahead, do it--- but when I am in a foreign country, a third-world country, a neighborhood that experiences certain kinds of poverty, etc. I don’t think twice about using their not-quite-like-mine-at-home bathrooms. They don’t bother me at all. And I am not sure what it is about me, but I feel like if you are blessed enough to live in middle-class America…you should hold your bathroom to certain standards….).

All that being said. I didn’t go that night. No. It wasn’t tempting enough for me to suffer through bathroom-anxiety.

Do you see what I mean?

Having had a decent, Middle-America Bathroom ruined me for using a not-decent, Middle-America Bathroom.

Maybe at one time, before I was accustomed to the decent bathroom, I would have been fine to go that night.

But no more.
I had already been ruined.

 I hope this concept makes sense now. Because I won’t be explaining it any further.

Ok. So there are things that can ruin a person.

And coming back to the cold and snow, I felt ruined.
I was done trying to pretend I am still enjoying winter. I don’t care anymore.

Which is about when it hit me.

That passage in Galatians…the one about pleasing man or God…I think I understand now.
I never did before.

Galatians 1:10
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

I think this verse is talking about a product of being ruined. As in:

                                                Jesus has ruined us for other things.

                                                                   Other loves.

                                                             Other satisfactions.

 I understand that concept. Do you? Thinking about this “higher” love, surpassing love you receive from Christ, all of the sudden makes the other things in life we run to look kind of bland in comparison.

So maybe I should say He has ruined me for "lesser" things rather than “other” things.

Think about it this way. Have you ever been in love with someone but maybe it didn’t work out? Sad, maybe. Yet, to a certain degree they kind of “raised the bar” for you? As in, that person made most of the other people in the world, who in the past you might have considered being with, seem pale in comparison? And you wonder how you ever thought you could have been interested in those types of people to begin with.

It’s like, now that you know “higher” people like that A. Exist and B. Can love you back, being with a "normal" or “lesser” person is just now....not an option anymore.
{And I realize that sounds conceited. All this “Higher” and “Lesser.” But just think of them as on a vertical scale and those “lower” on the list are not your type and those “higher” on the list is your REAL type.}

Also what happens now that you have loved and been loved back by this “higher” person, you feel totally free to be super bold and out there and not care what people think.
Why? Well, first I have to say why you wouldn't have in the past:
Because you were scared that you might intimidate a “lesser” person, or they…might not like you. You might not be what they are looking for.

So you hold back. And you don’t say things. And you don’t reveal who you really are…

But now...well now that you have known the “higher” love, you absolutely could not care less whether the “lesser” type like you or not. Their opinion, their “approval,” if you will, means nothing to you because the only kind of people you now care about attracting are those “higher” people.

It’s clear to see then, why Paul asks, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men,” who are ‘lesser,’ by the way—“or am I now trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

And WHY, might I ask, can you not try to please men and still be a servant of Christ?

Same thing about being in love:

            If you are trying to please “lesser” men then it can only be assumed you have never really known the “higher” love of Christ.

Because once you know THAT love, HIS love, you can’t go back. You have been ruined for anything less. All other loves don’t appeal, no longer tempt, and you wonder how you ever could have desired that to begin with….

The whole scene just doesn’t work for you anymore.

You don’t care what the world thinks because you are not interested in winning their approval.

Wolfies, we have been loved with a higher" love, so trying to please men, "lesser" men, is just silly. Do you KNOW the higher love? Have you KNOWN the higher love? Are you somehow still thinking that the opinion of “lesser” people (“lesser” in comparison to God) matters? Why? Are you living in fear and trying to conform to the standards they think you should have? Remember, they are not God. They do not control your eternity (and probably not even your present reality if you think about it), they did not create you, they did not die to redeem you. They have not loved you with a “higher” love.

But Jesus has. Be a servant bought by HIS love.
And seriously, for Heaven’s sake—let it ruin you.