Two days ago the electricity went off in my
house.
And usually when it does this it will just
flicker and then come right back on. But not this time.
5 minutes later, nothing. 10 minutes, still nothing.
So I called the power company and they said
they would take care of it. Which they did. An hour and a half later.
With this little hiccup putting a halt in the
middle of my workday I thought, “Well, my computer runs on battery. I will
blog.”
Which I did.
But halfway through writing a somewhat
trivial, silly entry, my brother texted me and said, “Have you heard about
Boston?”
Clearly I hadn’t; the electricity was off.
When the lights finally came back on I
switched on the TV and to my horror it felt like the world had gone dark.
Not just my house.
And I feel guilty for even writing that, for
I couldn’t help but think the whole time, “This kind of stuff happens every day
in some cities in the world; why doesn’t that affect me the way this does?”
Maybe because this is my homeland. Probably because
this is a city I can identify with.
As I sat there watching, my work day being
irreversibly stalled, I found myself crying a bit. There were scenes that for
some reason, I felt like I understood.
No, I have never been a part of something
horrific like that.
But, the darkness. I feel like that was
something I understood. The impending loss; I know what that feels like. The shock;
there I have been.
The darkness, those things that make you know
that this world is not how it was supposed to be, is suffocating.
Only, however, because I have memories of it.
You and I, we live in this world, darkness is not new to us. We all know it, we
see it everywhere, we all lived in it for some time in our life. We know its
horrors.
And yet, in these days that have followed, I
am always surprised (I don’t know why) by the response of the masses.
“We need peace!” they cry. “We all need to
love each other, lay our differences aside.”
I am sure I crinkle my face whenever I hear
things like that. Listen, peace is good. Love is good. Being different is good.
Looking, however, to other people to provide those things? Looking to other
PEOPLE, darkness dwellers, those of us who have a depraved nature, masses full
of sin, guilt, and shame…?
No. Unfortunately, I must tell you, peace and
love will not come from there.
Light to shine in our darkness, it does not…well…it
does not come from darkness.
I understand that saying those things is
maybe a kind gesture. Giving humanity the benefit of the doubt. I just
personally won’t do that.
Why? Am I being too harsh?
Or am I maybe just taking an honest look at
myself, at my own darkness I came from? Do I know what sin can do? Its havoc it
loves to create?
I do. Remember, we know the darkness. Why,
then, do we love to calm ourselves by placing hope in it? In some weird,
twisted way. Yet, we do.
But see, if we didn’t put our hope in others
to be the answer for creating peace, to love each other, then what we are also
saying is that I can’t put my hope in myself for peace and the love to show to
others. Because I am just like all the others in this world.
And well, that just seems…harsh. Because,
well, I can’t be from the same darkness that causes tragedies, can I?
Surely there has to be something intrinsically
different between me and whoever places explosives?
Maybe not.
*Sigh.
We know it’s true.
That’s why we hate things like Boston. Not
only because we hate sin’s repercussions, but we hate the fact that we can
identify with the darkness. We hate that not only do we know it when it is
being committed against us, but we hate that we can identify with being the
offenders.
See, I have not just been wounded by darkness
in this life; I, too, have been a “wound-er.” One who does the wounding.
Because in me is darkness. In all of us. It’s
our natural habitat. And we try to say we love the light, “Peace, peace,” we
cry! I fear, however, those sayings are a cover-up. They are us wanting to
believe that “goodness” can come from us. Reality, however, will always tell us
that “goodness” does not come from us. The only thing humans have the power to
do is choose to not commit massive crimes. Really, the only difference can be
found in one little sentence, “Well, I PERSONALLY wouldn’t do something like
that.”
Our president said in a press conference, “We
don’t know who did this, we don’t know why.”
Well. That’s only half true. We don’t know
who did this. But we do know why. We’ve known forever.
“The light shines in the darkness, but the
darkness has not understood it….He was in the world, and though the world was
made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was
his own, but his own did not receive him.” (John 1:5, 10-11)
Some people look at these tragedies and they
scream with anger in their eyes “There is no God!” They think something like
this is good evidence in the case against God. But really, doesn’t stuff like
this actually prove that he is who he says he is? Doesn’t it prove what he has
said to be true? Because, well, he said this would happen. He has already told
us WHY this happened. We already know the answer.
Darkness does not love the light.
It’s as simple as that, Wolfies. And terrible
things that grate on our soul like nails on a chalkboard prove over and over
again the reality of our darkness, and his blinding light, which, left to our
own devices, our own depravity, we love to scorn.
“This is the message we have heard from him
and declare to you: God is light; in him is no darkness at all.” (I John 1:5)
But kids. This is our hope! This is
our new reality! He did not let us alone, he did not leave us in our darkness!
Our bondage we can be rid of once and for all. I know we say this a lot around
Christmas, but let this truth penetrate through the darkness you may still know
or feel that is barking at the door, threatening your joy, stealing your peace
that his brilliance gives:
“The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a
light has dawned…You have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across
their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor…For to us…a son is given, and the
government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
(Isaiah 9:2, 4, 6)
Peace, peace, I declare to you.
But we will not find our peace with the darkness; the Light no longer lets us
reside there peacefully.
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