Not necessarily what I would call a fixer upper, as in needing to rip out walls or anything of that nature, but by the way we have fixed everything up it might as well have been.
See, the previous owners were smokers. Hubbs and I are not. So there was that issue we felt we needed to remediate. I set about this by washing every surface in the house, and I mean every surface in the house, with vinegar. It worked fine as a prelude to Kilz primer, but I will admit the house smelled like a pickled cigarette for a good little while.
So besides getting rid of the smoke smell, we ripped out all the flooring right away, threw away all the curtains, and...um....got to work on this little bathroom we inherited.
Needless to say, it's been a busy summer, fall, and winter. We are wrapping up the big projects and now I am into sewing curtains, doing art, and always rearranging furniture.
In the midst of this house renovation, one morning I was reading in my devotions--it must have been the 31st of the month, because I was reading in Proverbs 31-- and a verse jumped out at me; one of those verses I have read hundreds of times and even already underlined. Maybe I was reading it in a different translation this time, but in verse 13 in the ESV it says "She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands."
It was that little bit about SEEKING wool and flax.
There I was, in the middle of a DIY house renovation, itty bitty baby on my hip, paint brush in my hand, and by a lot of standards I appeared to be busy. WORKING. Getting it done. Why, then, would the Holy Spirit tickle my heart with this verse?
While I continued with my banister painting, wallpaper ripping, floor laying, and furniture refinishing the verse kept returning to my mind.
As I said, what struck me about it was the "seeking" part. Sure, I was working. On the house while trying to manage life, too. Yes, I still always had a real dinner on the table. Hubbs was still getting clean laundry. Baby V was still getting books read to her every day. By all appearances, I would assume, my plate was full, (and maybe it's true what a friend said about me once, "Your plate is a platter in my world." Everyone's plate is a different size, so this is not a talk about NUMBERS of activities). To some people they might have seen me and said I was fulfilling my quota, I didn't need to seek out anything else.
But what if I didn't feel that way? Yes, I have enough projects to keep me going until Christmas. And then I am sure I will find more. But is that work I SOUGHT out? Am I striving to be like the righteous woman in Proverbs 31? Or is the work I am doing just getting done because it is work CAME TO ME?
When you buy a house like we did, work naturally presents itself to you. It is literally staring you in the face, and you do it, or it continues to stare you in the face. So I was doing it.
But do I seek out work? Am I looking around my house willingly saying, "Ok, what more work can I do?"
The truth of the matter is that I don't. Or I didn't at that time; I am working on it. But really, I don't seek out work, my hands are not necessarily willing.
It was very convicting because, honestly, if I am not looking for work to do, what AM I doing with my time? I may claim there is not enough time to get through my laundry list of chores, but if that's true how did I have time to scroll through Instagram, or read some article I don't care about that someone I barely know posted on Facebook? I had time to seek THAT out.
I think the Lord placed this verse in this description because it is so easy, so natural, for us to be given to laziness. And maybe not even a laziness characterized by housework never getting done or broken things never getting fixed or laying on the sofa or caring too much about internet stuff that means nothing, but what about a laziness of only doing enough to get by?
When I lived with Al and Ella , Ella would refer to some people as "corner cleaners" or "not corner cleaners." At first I didn't know what she meant, but then I watched her vacuum her house once, and I kid you not, she moved the chair and vacuumed underneath it. It was a revelation. I had never seen anyone do this unless they were rearranging the whole room. But no. Not Ella. She moved the chair, vacuumed, and then put the chair back in the same place. Then I understood. She was a "corner cleaner." And a part of me has aspired, albeit poorly, to be this type of "corner cleaner." The image has been emblazened in my head since and when I read that Proverbs passage it came back with a flood.
Ella was seeking out work. She was looking for more floor to clean.
Or I think about my mother-in-law who claims she is always "just putzing" as she goes from room to room, looking for something to straighten, trying to think of something to cook. Really, she is not "just putzing," she is seeking out work.
But when I really think about why this verse is in the Bible, I can't help but know that it's because this characteristic shows a characteristic of the Lord. This is something he wants to reveal about himself THROUGH you and me as we go about our lives and fulfill this. He never just sits back and waits for work to come to him. He never waits for you to bring your brokenness. He never waits for me to bring my dirt, my nastiness.
No, he is seeking out work to do in your life, never letting you sit where you are as if you are "good enough to get by." He is seeking you in your brokenness. To fix it. He is seeking out me in the midst of my dirt and nastiness, to wipe it away and make me new again.
God wants me to seek out work to do in his world and his Kingdom SO THAT my life shows the world that God is at work in his world and his Kingdom. He is at work with willing hands in the lives of his people, even getting into all their little corners.
