Personal Happiness.

Let me share a thought or two with you. Because I simply can't stop thinking about it.

A few weeks back I was a little vexed, if I do say so myself, by a conversation I had with some people who I feel pretty confidently do not know the Lord. Sure, maybe you think that's a harsh judgment on my part, but don't worry, they would say they don't know him too.

Anyway, we were chatting and like I said, I was getting vexed. Not quite an Ann of Green Gables "You called me 'Carrots'" kind of vexed moment, although I wouldn't put it past me to have a moment like that in the right situation, but one that got my blood boiling under the surface nonetheless.

There was a situation that arose which brought up the topic of people acting in ways I would characterize as completely un-Biblical. It goes against the created order and is destructive not only to themselves, but also to the lives of countless other people, not matter how celebrated it is by modern culture, media, and any other worldly what-have-you.
And as we were dialoguing about this, out of the mouth of one of my said non-Christian acquaintances comes the phrase, "Whatever makes them happy. Just so long as they are happy."

Disagreeing entirely with that phrase I cast a parting comment of "There is more to life than your own personal happiness..." and we all went our separate ways and that was the end of it.

But not for me.
I can't stop thinking about it. Thinking about how I don't believe that is true on any kind of moral or social ground, thinking about how it both simply and supremely leaves something to be desired for my fiercely loving, fighting, pilgrim-ing spirit.

Just so long as I am happy??!

It stopped me in my tracks and has made me think over and over again, "Really? Is that all you are living for? Have you nothing else to compel you to get out of bed in the mornings?"

Sigh.
It makes me love Jesus more. Because Jesus says there is more for me than that. He has given me something more to do. He tells me there are battles to be fought and truth to stand for and lives and souls to protect and people to minister to and souls at risk.
And, too, my life lived only seeking my own personal happiness is about as Blah of an existence as I can imagine. I want to desire more than that.

I feel terribly sorry for those people I spoke with that day; it seems they are not out on any great quest. I mean, after all, how hard can it be to find your own happiness?

 And it still has me thinking. How in the world would they ever come up with that idea? I mean, where does the world get this stuff? Surely it can't be their own idea...
Ecclesiastes 3 says that God has set eternity in the hearts of all people.
Well what in the world is eternal about seeking your own happiness as the supreme goal of your life?

Nothing.

And Houston, I think that is our problem.

In addition to the eternity that the Bible speaks of, it also waxes eloquently on such subjects as Believers being "More than conquerors" (Romans 8:37) and it talks about these battles we have that are "not against flesh and blood" (Ephesians 6:12) It makes such strong claims about us being able to "do all things through Christ who strengthens us," (Philippians 4:13) and while I am probably not in reality as much of an expert in things like international crime solving and espionage as I like to imagine I am, I can put two and two together enough to know that phrases like the ones I just quoted are talking about more than our journeys to do whatever makes us the most happy.
It's not saying, "You are more than a conqueror...of your own boredom," and it doesn't say "Our battle is not against flesh and blood in your search for your own pleasure," nor does it say, "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you....even the hard things like going to get your nails done and buying yourself a new something...all the way across town."

No.
Because that would be ridiculous.
God would have never wasted such words on things as trivial as my own happiness. Or yours.
Clearly he is talking about bigger things than that.
Bigger things than, I am finding out, the world is not paying attention do, or admitting the existence of, or whatever (I am still processing that part).

But isn't that so interesting? God speaks about things the world would rather take no part in. Things those acquaintances of mine seem to not recognize at all. I keep pondering and I wonder, "Don't they ever think there has got to be more to all of this than whatever they want to do? Are they even aware that there is a world and a big battle out there over---not only their souls---but those of all peoples around them?"

I don't think so, I have concluded. I think they are completely unaware.

And as I run that through the filter in my mind of knowing that eternity is in their hearts too, not just mine, it only makes sense then that something is blocking their sight of it all. This is no new thought, obviously. II Corinthians 4:4 says, "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." I don't know why I am surprised then to find out that the object the devil is using to keep these acquaintance's thoughts away from all the eternal implications of their life is their own personal happiness.
It makes perfect sense. It keeps them never looking to more in the world than whatever creates for them the highest satisfaction. It keeps them living inside their own life and daily reality; never beyond that.

This concept is reminiscent to something C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters. This bit coming from a seasoned devil who is talking to a devil-in-training about how to keep their "patients" (i.e. humans) away from thinking about non-temporal things:
(*remember, whenever they say "Enemy"--because they are devils---they are referring to God):

"I once had a patient, a sound atheist, who used to read in the British Museum. One day, as he sat reading, I saw a train of thought in his mind beginning to go the wrong way. The Enemy, of course, was at his elbow in a moment. Before I knew where I was I saw my twenty years' work beginning to totter. If I had lost my head and begun to attempt a defence by argument, I should have been undone. But I was not such a fool. I struck instantly at the part of the man which I had best under my control, and suggested that it was just about time he had some lunch. The Enemy presumably made the counter-suggestion (you know how one can never quite overhear what He says to them?) that this was more important than lunch. At least I think that must have been His line, for when I said, "Quite. In fact much too important to tackle at the end of a morning," the patient brightened up considerably; and by the time I had added "Much better come back after lunch and go into it with a fresh mind," he was already halfway to the door. Once he was in the street the battle was won. I showed him a newsboy shouting the midday paper, and a No. 73 bus going past, and before he reached the bottom of the steps I had got into him an unalterable conviction that, whatever odd ideas might come into a man's head when he was shut up alone with his books, a healthy dose of "real life" (by which he meant the bus and the newsboy) was enough to show him that all "that sort of thing" just couldn't be true."

Isn't that so telling? And how terrifying that all the devil has to do to keep people away from thinking about eternal things, things of great significance, or the ACTUAL reality of life is to get them to think about "real life."

And only "real life"-----like traffic and lunch and the weather and the news.


Notice that ones of the devil's main tactics is to make no mention of himself in this. He does not show himself and subsequently scare them into not believing in God. Rather, he keeps them completely unaware of his existence or the existence of any Supernatural force upon their lives at all.
Because any clear picture of a Supernatural reality that might work it's way into the minds of these happiness-seekers would completely disrupt all of the devil's plans in their lives. The devil, being a spirit, would rather have himself be completely un-believed in than to run the risk of humans knowing another reality exists. Because if HE is believed in, then the eternal heart in all of us would want to believe in a God as well.

No, it seems. The devil does not even dare whisper about the language that God speaks, let alone all of those life-is-more-than-your-personal-happiness-things that God uses that language to speak of.

It's a thought, Wolfies. There is more to our lives than our own personal happiness. Don't be blinded to the reality outside of your own daily life.

Constant.

Maybe it's the time of year (aka, almost "School time"), maybe it's the seasons of life, maybe it's the heat, or maybe it's the way things ebb and flow, but I have been in a----mood----lately.
That it makes me want to be Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman should be no surprise to any of you.
The "mood" reminds me of being a kid, of getting my school books (I was home-schooled), of going to my brother's football games, of piano lessons starting again, of getting ready to preserve all the fruits and veggies our gardening neighbors would sell us, and it makes me want to read a novel about Amish (I always did that in the Fall) or watch episodes of Home Improvement.

Call it nostalgia.

Even though nostalgia is not something I am prone to.
I think that's what I am feeling.

In thinking over my life lately, it has just occurred to me (I realize what I am saying next is elementary), for the very first time, that I will never be younger again.
Like, I could never say, "You know, I think I liked 23 the best---let's just go back and live in that stage again."
It can't happen.

Who knew!?

Not me.
I mean. Consciously I knew it, obviously. But practically? No. Time just keeps going. Life just keeps going. I figured there was a pause button somewhere.

And I will tell you what; it makes me thankful for the constancy of God. One of his names that I love is Ancient of Days. It means he has seen everything. He remembers all; he will judge all. How comforting to know that wherever I have been, he has been there to.

Even now then, as I am aware that I can never go back again, I am more thankful that not only has he been everywhere I have been, but he will BE everywhere I will be.

Wow.
What a Hallelujah if there ever was one.

The other morning I was reading and came across Psalm 71:5 "For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth."

I am blessed to have known the Lord from a young age, so this verse is true to me... He has been my confidence from my youth.
But not only that, he has been my comfort and confidant and companion. I have intimately known that I have never walked alone, I have never traveled by myself, I have never traversed without a Guide. He has been there. He has seen all my days.
What a beautiful thing.

We are never alone. He never leaves. He knows all of our days.
And he wants us to know HIM in all of those. If there is something keeping you away from Christ, pitch it. I promise you this, it's not worth it.
He is better. Let him be what you need.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I wanted to tell you one more thing.


I said "Yes."

And that makes me so excited.

It makes me so excited because he loves Jesus and miracle of all miracle---he loves me (I am getting the better end of the deal, though, let me tell you), and we both love silly things like maps and old books and big words and talking about what we ate for lunch that day, as well as discussing why life without Jesus is pointless or how we want our life to positively affect people for the gospel.

And he prays with me and for me and over me. Because he knows that apart from Christ, we can do nothing (John 15:5) and that without Christ, we have no good thing (Psalm 16:2).

Truly can I say that the Lord has dealt bountifully with me (Psalm 116:7).

Love you, Wolfies.