Idiocy.

Before I say anything, let me say this:
God hears your prayers.

I have no idea what’s up in your life, but I do know what goes on in mine. And what goes on in mine, even when it doesn’t look like it, feel like it, seem like it, or pan out like it is this:

 God DOES hear your prayers. He DOES see you. He DOES know your situation.

And he IS doing stuff about it.
Trust me on this one, kids.
No, actually, don’t trust me on it, for who in the world am I to trust? Trust him on it:

“Does he who implanted the ear not hear? Does he who formed the eye not see?”

The answer? Why yes, yes as a matter of fact, he does.
: )

~~~~

Ok, now on to that “anything” I waited to say.

Let me start with this:

I am an idiot.

And throughout this post you will, no doubt, say to yourself “She is an idiot.”

I understand that. I have braced my emotions for it. Rant away.

Here is why this is true:

I think for the most part (imperative word here being MOST) I do a pretty good job of listening to God’s voice and then doing what he says.
For instance, about a month-ish ago I went and helped a friend re-do a rental she owns. As I was packing for the trip God impressed upon my little heart a message to “take a couple tea bags and your cutting brush.”
Now, I thought this was silly. My friend, at this rental, has a right fine coffee maker and I KNOW she has really nice cutting brushes. But, whatever. I have kicked myself in the past for not doing what he says, so I did what he said and took them along.

 

Nothing special, but they can do the job if there is a need.

Remember though, I didn’t think there was a need.

Until!....I woke up the first morning and headed out into the kitchen where my friend already was.

“Crummy buttons,” she said, “I forgot to bring the coffee filters!”
“WHAT?!?!?!” I was thinking to myself. “No coffee filters?? How shall I live doing a remodel with no coffee filters?!?!?!?

Then God did another whisper, “Fortunately you brought that breakfast tea…..”

Whoa.

“You knew there weren’t coffee filters in the house, didn’t you?” I asked him.
If I could read God’s facial expressions I guarantee you there would have been a smile on his face, something along the lines to convey a phrase like this: “Just looking out for my girl….”

Wow.

Now how is that for foresight?!

As if that is not enough! We were downstairs getting all the paint supplies ready when my friend comes out of the mud room and says, “I have no idea where that cutting brush is!”

“Oh…..” I paused. Then I remembered. “Well, I actually brought mine….so I think we will be ok still…”

See, here is the deal: Jesus is omniscient. All-knowing. He knows what is going to happen, and he doesn’t always keep that information to himself. Sometimes, absolutely. I will tell you that MOST of the time God actually keeps his plans really close to the chest. BUT>NOT>ALWAYS.

Which means that when he doesn’t, when he tells you something, we would be idiots to not do what he says.

Now, you are wondering where the part comes in that you get to say, “She is an idiot,” (for how can you not be looking forward to such an endorsement?). Your patience has paid off.

Ok, so fast forward a few weeks (yeah, that’s right. WEEKS. Not even a year had passed, or a month).

One night I was getting ready to go to small group, packing up my purse, when God says, “Take your camera.”
I saw my camera right there on the counter and thought, “Why? It’s nighttime. I am just going there and coming back. I won’t see anything I haven’t seen before.”
Which, let me back up. This is the first instance when you should be saying “She is an idiot,” because this is not the first, second, third, or fourth time he has told me to take my camera and I don’t and I end up eternally regretting that poor decision, so that I don’t instantly have my camera with me all the time shows my severe lack of obedience.
Go ahead, rant away.

That being said, I leave my house, sans camera.

And wouldn’t you know it, the whole time I drive there, the whole time I am there, nothing new happens. Nothing great happens. As I am typing this I can’t remember what I ate, what I was wearing, what we talked about, or even whose house the group met at.
However, what I do remember is what happened on 40 minute drive home. After sunset, when you usually can’t take pictures anyway.

There I was toodling along when it started to drizzle a bit. Then, every once in a while there would be some really pretty cloud lightning.

I am watching the beautiful lightning, Josh Groban BLARING in the car, when little by little the lightning kept coming until after about 10 minutes it was CONSTANT. I mean, here there and everywhere the stuff was glaring before my eyes! And it was so bright that-GET THIS- on the country roads I drive, almost entirely unpopulated by cars, I TURNED MY HEADLIGHTS OFF. It was 9 o’clock at night, but with the lightning being so much I just didn’t need them. The nighttime was as day time it was that bright! UNBELIEVABLE.
The rain then starts to pick up to a pour now, amazingly enough, right along with Josh Groban’s crescendos until, before I knew what was what, I was watching/listening to THE MOST INCREDIBLE CONCERT AND LIGHTSHOW I WILL EVER SEE. Huge bangs and booms and flashes all around me!
In my elation, I reached into purse to grab my camera because I wanted to show all of you what was going on.

 OH NO!!!

Say it with me: I (she) AM (Is) AN IDIOT!!

HE TOLD ME TO BRING MY CAMERA AND I SAID THERE WAS GOING TO BE NOTHING NEW TO SEE!!!!!!!

But that’s not all. No, no.

To add insult to my injury, now guess what happens…

HAIL.

Oh yeah.

Like, a white-out of hail. The roads, the grounds, the ditches, COVERED in hail. So much hail I couldn’t see straight.
Pouring rain, outrageous lightning, and blankets of hail.
At one point I had to stop my car because I thought I was driving sideways, I couldn’t tell the road apart from the ditches from the fields.
If it had not been for the lightning, coming from above the source of hail, I would not have been able to see anything. My headlights had been rendered powerless.

Do you know how when you drive through a big puddle in the road that the water splashes up alongside your car and leads the way in front of it? Yeah, only this time it was waves of hail. INCHES OF HAIL.

God said to me at one point, “You think this is nuts? Wait until you see the end of the world….” (Which, btw, 3 days later I came across this verse: “For the Son of Man in his day will be like the lightning, which flashes from one end to the other.” {Luke 17:24}—I KNEW IT!)

Lights like the end of the world. And no camera.

I could be lying to you all about this.

But I am not!

I promise you I am not!
A liar I am not, an idiot, however, I am.

Oh, Wolfies. I wish you could have seen it.
But you can’t.

So, what’s the good news?

Well. There isn’t any.
I didn’t have my camera.
I didn’t listen to God’s voice.
Take a lesson from me. Next time God tells you to do something, don’t be an idiot.

Hail.

Hail two days later.