Lukewarm.

The pilot light on our water heater keeps going out.

Now, I am not what I would call “high maintenance.” I might be a little particular, but high maintenance? I don’t think so. And I don’t think Hubbs thinks I am either (which at this point I think he is probably the only one that matters as he is the only one who has to live with me).  I don’t think I expect much.

But I do expect hot water.

In America, that is.

When I have been in more remote places or countries of the world, the thought doesn’t even cross my mind to be upset that they don’t have hot water. It’s just not what life is like there.

But life has hot water in my house.

Well it did, until about three weeks ago.

Ok, that’s not entirely true.

Three weeks ago the pilot light went out, so Hubbs was a champ and went down and re-started it. But 15 minutes later it was out again. And so he lit it again. And again. And again. We called the property manager (we rent our house) and he said, “We don’t handle pilot lights. You will have to handle that.”

But we were handling it. We were re-handling it every 15 minutes. And that didn’t seem to be helping.

We left the next day for the weekend and figured it would have to be taken care of when we got back. So we came home (to just cold water), re-lit the pilot light and called the property manager again. He gave us a 1-800 number to try………which turns out to be a number where they tell you how to troubleshoot the pilot light issues.

It was not a 1-800 number for a plumber or an electrician.

So Hubbs, because he is awesome, did everything that could be done to a hot water heater that is not our own.

And now the pilot light stays on…………..for about an hour.

So now we have lukewarm water.

Hubbs and I are church shopping this summer. Which, for the Believer, is probably one of the worst church-related experiences that you have to go through. Finding a community to call “home,” to call yours, to see a group of people each week that you know are relatively on the same page as you. Not having it takes a toll on you.

Well it does on me.

But I didn’t realize it did until one day, back in 5 Month City, we were at a service somewhere and it was just very REVERENT. Now, the church that we went to weekly down there was fine, but we were really at it because we were only going to be there for 5 months. You know what I mean? Like, if we were going to have been there longer we wouldn’t have settled so quickly on one. But we just wanted to pick one right away and get plugged in since we only had little time.

But anyway, we were at a special service for something and it was incredibly reverent. Very “churchy,” if you will. Not like some of those new churches where you could walk in, look around, and go, “So, uh….what do you do here? What’s this building for?” because it doesn’t resemble anything like a church. No, it was definitely a place where you know, “Ah yes, you worship God here!”

And it was in that reverent moment that something inside of me clicked and I told Hubbs, “After tonight I feel like I have not been to a church service in…..um……a year and a half.”

Because a year and a half before that is when I met Hubbs. And when I started traveling every weekend to see him. And therefore lost my current church home.

So yes. We are church shopping here. And it has taken a toll.

And, it’s made me feel like I have lost something in my relationship with the Lord. Some closeness maybe. Some intensity. Some heat.

Honestly. I feel rather lukewarm.

Like the water coming from my tap.

And let me tell you a thing or two about lukewarm water. It’s awful. You put your hand in it and your body doesn’t register anything. Much like not being able to tell what sort of thing happens in a church building, I could just as easily say, “Is my hand in water?! Huh. I can’t tell….” Because there is no temperature difference than the air. 

It’s not hot.

It’s not cold.

It’s just there.

It doesn’t clean as well.

It doesn’t cool as well.

It is just there. Being water. And being little else.

It all makes perfect sense then, when John says in Revelation to the church at Laodicea, “So, because you are lukewarm---neither hot nor cold---I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

Exactly. Lukewarm water is gross. Because it doesn’t accomplish anything that it is capable of doing.

But I can’t entirely blame not having a church.

I can blame me.

In addition to not having a church home, I have not prioritized devotions. I have not prayed on my face. I have not been in a Bible study. I have not sought out fellowship of other godly women.

The lukewarm-ness is my own issue.

And now that I know how useless lukewarm water is, I don’t want to be a representation of that in any way, shape, or form.

And how about you? Am I alone in this? Or have you maybe let things go? Let the heat die away?

I am praying for you, Wolfies. Praying that we all would be either hot or cold. None of this middle-of-the-road garbage.