Have you ever ran your mouth? Or hurt someone with your words, even when, there is no intention in your ever-living soul to do that? I don’t know where those words come from! I mean, what is down there in my little heart to make me think of letting something nasty just slip right out?
As a policy, I don’t like to do it often. I always end up feeling like a horrible mess of a person, in need of some serious alone time, which is what I do when I feel like a mess of a person. Anyway, those are never moments that I relish. I much prefer to remember the times when I am in some social setting where I have to schmooze people and I never say anything out of line.
J
A while back I had a roommate. Now, I didn’t really know this roommate. It was something temporary where I had said, “Sure. I mean, my hall closet is pretty big, you could throw a mattress in there for the time being,” which is exactly what she did. In the same period of time that I had this roommate I travelled a lot. More than I do now. For the people who know me, thinking that there was a time that I travelled more than I do now is almost unbelievable, but, alas, ‘twas true. And one night, suitcase and totes and junk in hand, I walked into my apartment, threw everything on my bed, emptied the contents of said bags, and started repacking said bags so I could leave again in the morning.
The roommate (the one living in the hall closet) said to me, “How do you afford the gas to travel all the time?”
Now, we were in the first real sleuth of spiking gas prices at this time. It was the first time gas was almost $4.00 a gallon.
And I had not given it a thought.
So when she asked me what I thought about it, I was completely taken aback. I stopped packing, turned to her and honestly said, “Oh….yes….umm….well…. I don’t think about it. I know I need to be on the road, so I know I need the gas, so it doesn’t bother me. I just give them my debit card. I know there is money in there.”
I don’t know if that was the answer she was looking for, but that was the only answer I could think off the top of my head to give. And to be honest, it was the real answer.
See, I had a very steady income at that point. Like I told her, I knew I had money in the debit card account and I knew that more money was going to be pumped into it every two weeks. I had total confidence that there would be no catch; no denial of card, which is why I thoughtlessly kept handing it to all of those cashiers.
My life is a little different now. My income is more determined by what I do personally, and while I still have money behind my debit card, I do pay a little more attention to what I am spending. Like today I know that I spent $4.19 for coffee, whereas a year ago I never would have been able to remember that. To be able to not think about what you are spending you need to either
A. Have an endless supply of money or
B. Know that more money will be coming shortly.
You need to know what is behind the debit card to live like that. Confidently know there will be no lack.
I was running today, thinking about my words, and the story I just told you about the roommate and the debit card came back to my mind. As I was pondering I realized that they really are not that different.
In Psalm 17 David says that he has resolved not to sin with his mouth. I don’t know about you, but I have always felt very hopeless when thinking about putting a stop to my words. All of that talk in James comes rushing back and I just decide there are more important things in my life to worry about since “no man can tame the tongue” anyway. But when David says that he has resolved to not sin with his words, that tells me something. It tells me that David knew what was behind those words. He knew that out of the heart the mouth speaks. And he knew that it would take a resolution to stop the sin from pouring forth speech.
How, you might ask, are the words we say like a debit card?
Well let me ask you this:
Do you know what is behind your words? Are you certain with your words, like I was with the debit card and the gas station, that my card would/ that your words will, produce the desired outcome?
I ask myself: Is the supply of good in my heart endless so that I know that good is all that will come out?
Do I also know that, because of my lifestyle and all of that alone time with Jesus, that more good will be funneled back into my heart once I use up what’s in there now?
I mean, I would love to get to the point where my shock over saying something nasty would be the same as if my debit card was denied. I want to be able to ask myself after I run my mouth, “Excuse me, what? Where did that come from?” the same way I would say to the cashier, “Excuse me, what? But I know there is money in that account.”
The Bible says we should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Maybe I can help that process by being a little less thoughtless with my words, a little more “stingy” with them, at least until I am confident I won’t be having any kind of “card denied” situation that will leave me asking myself, “Excuse me, what? But I thought there was all kinds of good in there.”
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