Daylight.

Sometimes I feel like opening up a post with the line, "An oracle is within my heart concerning...." like all of those Psalms and prophecies.
But then I think, "No, probably not wise to use verbage from the Bible. You are no prophet, chicky."
So I don't.
But sometimes I want to.
And today is one of those days.
Again, I am no prophet, and I have no vision from God to reveal to you, but there is something--an oracle, if you will---in my heart concerning something. Or maybe I should just call it a deep stirring. Deep, as in, some days I feel like it is making me short of breath.

We have all been here, I suppose. In those situations where trust is all we can do. We mentally know God is working, he has given us instructions for what to do, he has said he hears and works out all prayers for our good and his glory; we can rest in that (for really, WHAT ELSE WOULD THERE BE TO REST IN ON THIS GREEN PLANET????), yet....there just is no sight of what he is doing yet.
And what we see seems to go against all he has told me to be true. Yet this stirring rises up in us still because either
A. He WILL come through, even though later than we expected and against all the world would tell us to believe and we feel this gospel truth rising in us, or
B. We are about to go careening off a hypothetical cliff and all the stirring is nothing more than gravity.

Sigh.

Sigh sigh sigh.

Because the only thing really in my power to do is trust that it is in fact option A. Surely there has to be more than gravity, right? Surely there has to be more than only that which I can see?

This oracle then, this deep stirring in my soul that sometimes I feel I can't even put words to, it has me thinking. Praying. Thinking and praying. Like I never have before (which, come to think of it is probably a fringe benefit in itself). Because what else in the world am I going to do when I feel that sometimes all I can see is this fog blocking my path?

Do you know what I mean? Like, in those situations where God has shown you, in his mercy, a glimpse of what the end looks like, yet, for all the tea in China you could not figure out if you had to HOW he is going to bring you from where you are to where you will be?
And this can be about any number of things. Maybe for you it isn't even a situation, but more like just being dumbfounded as to how he is going to take your current position in life and "Bring you to completion." (Phil. 1:6) Maybe your demons are so strong that you have no concept of how these chains could ever be broken.
(If for nothing else than consolation, know that you are not alone. I have been there. There IS freedom.)

Or maybe it is, in fact, something other than your current spiritual state. Life brings with it many a confounding situation, we know this.

Many a time in life where it seems all we do is walk in darkness.
As if the way is shrouded in haze. Or where it seems like the only thing we come across on this path of life is twists and turns and switchbacks and roadblocks. Like we are pawing through the inky blackness of night, or are getting terrified by shadows at every turn...because all we can see are the shadows.

I know you know what I am talking about; I live amongst the human race, I know what we deal with.

As this bass drumming continues to pound away in my heart and all these prayers are crossing over my moving yet soundless lips, the other day I think I saw a flash in all these shifting shadows.

Never before had it occurred to me that this is probably how it's all supposed to be. Like, there isn't anything wrong with me because I can't see through the fog, because...well...the fog is supposed to be there.

Has it ever occurred to you that (I think) NOWHERE in the Bible does it describe the walk of the Christian to be a walk in daylight?
Nope.
And if somewhere it does say something along the lines of "And this path is easy and well seen and you know what's coming and need no further light because all is bright and glittery," please, please please please send it to me so I can paint it all over the walls of my house and feel deep utter conviction for the sin that must be blinding me still.
Ha.

But seriously.
I am expecting to get zero emails from you with a reference for that one.

Legit, though! Jesus never tells us that this path we walk is one easily seen or even that it is supposed to be.
Let me say it again: THIS IS NOT DAYLIGHT.

Nope.

Rather, what are we told?
"Small is the gate and narrow the road...." (Matthew 7:14)
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness..." (Col. 1:13)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight." (II Cor. 5:7)
"For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers, of this present darkness...." (Ephesians 6:12)
"Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in my death." (Psalm 13:3)

See. That is where we find ourselves. In shadows and thick blackness.

But...alas. There is always a "BUT" when it comes to Jesus, praise the Lord:

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light." (Isaiah 9:2)
"In him was life and that life was the light of men.The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." (John 1:4-5)
"God is light; in him is no darkness at all." (I John 1:5)
"In your light we see light." (Psalm 36:9)
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Psalm 119: 105)
 "Even in darkness light dawns for the upright." (Psalm 112:4)
"The unfolding of your words gives light." (Psalm 119:130)
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17)

HE is the only light. HIS word is the only thing that illumines our path. HE is the anti-shadow. HIS light is the goodness in our lives.

We live in shadows, the haze is our home, and the world tells us different things than he does because all they know is the darkness. But he is the change. Like every single thing in this life, HE is the breakthrough. He is what burns off the fog. And we are called to keep walking on this path that is lit by him only enough for us to see the next step...not all the road ahead. That which we can see is not to be wholly trusted in, because it is probably not much more than a shadow of the truth.

This life is darkness; enshrouded by all things opposed to him. Our way is illumined only by him. Because HE is our daylight.

~~~
And while we are on the subject, jam this song, Wolfies. It's so good.

King of all the earth