Texts.

I will be the first to admit that when it comes to being on the road I let my daily devotions slip.

I hate that about me. Why do I think I can run on fumes? Why do I have this false over-confidence in myself that states that I can still be a decent human being without daily contact with Jesus? Because I can’t. I am dead wrong if I think I can.

When my friend and I were on our way home I said to her, “You know, I apologize if I have been a tad bit owl-y these last few days. I haven’t had any time with Jesus and that does not do good things for me.”

“Oh, I know,” she replied, “I have had a hard time with that the last few days too. But don’t worry about it; I haven’t noticed you being nasty.”
Not to be trusting of her words, I then coyly replied, “Well that’s great, but maybe when you don’t have devotions you become a habitual liar. So really, I could be terrible…and you could just be lying….because neither of us have talked to HIM today.”

We laughed, of course.

But seriously. Maybe she does become a habitual liar.
Ha.
(She absolutely does not. She doesn’t have a nasty bone in her body.)

Later on in the trip I stopped for coffee with another friend and was relaying this story to her and continued. “Last night I lay in bed and was praying,” I told her, “And I said to the Lord, ‘I feel like I have so much to tell you! As if we haven’t talked in ages!’ Which of course is ridiculous. But that’s how I feel. I feel as if all God and I have done for the last three weeks is text each other. Except I haven’t received any of his. And let me tell you, that is no way to carry on a relationship.”

It was the honest truth. If God didn’t know everything that happened to me all the time and if he didn’t know all of my thoughts we would have a lot to catch up on.

Fortunately he does. Which makes for a quick cut-to-the-chase. Consequently I don’t have to tell him all that happened I can just say, “NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH ALL THAT JUST HAPPENED?!?!!?”
Ha.
Isn’t it terrible how nonchalantly I can relate to God? As in I have the ability to talk AT him for three weeks and not give him more than an hour total to talk to me. And what I say to him for those three weeks is about as deep as you typically get in a text message.

“Hi. Thanks for today. It’s beautiful. Ok, actually it’s really hot. But thanks anyway for the desert. Ttyl (Smiley Face) Lol.”

Text message-depth conversation is no way to carry on a relationship. With anyone. Especially the Creator and Sustainer of all life and movement. I get huffy when I don’t talk to my family or best friends every day, so why don’t I go OUT OF MY WAY to talk to him?

It reminds me of one of my favorite passages in scripture.

Psalm 18:6, 9a. “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears…He parted the heavens and came down.”

See, when I call God, he moves heaven to get to me. So when he calls me (which he calls all of us every single day, kids), why don’t I at least part my schedule? Or my morning makeup routine? I can find time to shower and eat lunch, but I can’t find time to talk to the one who parts the sky whenever I call HIM?

I get the feeling he must feel like he is in a one-sided relationship.

And I suppose he is. I bring nothing to the table in our relationship. Well, nothing desirable, that is. I do bring a lot of garbage and baggage. Isn’t it miraculous then that he loves us? I mean, he saved us once on that cross so why does he do any other goodness unto us? He has already done enough. Wolfies, that cross was enough. And yet (there is always an “And yet” with Jesus), he continues on still! He still hears when we call. He still moves heaven.

And more impressively, he still wants me to call. Me, the one who can offer nothing desirable to the relationship, he still wants. Why?

Mind boggling.

Oh man.

Forgive me, dear God. Let me not treat you glibly; forgive me for not moving all in my small power or tiny schedule to get to you. And yet, as selfish as even this is, thank you. For constantly still coming down. Let this grace to me not be without effect.