There is never enough time.

On New Year’s morning I was having breakfast with some of my best girls and we were chatting and giggling away like usual.

 The topic came up of if we had any New Year’s resolutions. All of us said no, apart from being more intentional with our time—spending our “off the clock” hours doing what is actually valuable and not giving into the ensuing exhaustion produced by our “on the clock” hours. One of the girls told a story about someone they knew who got married, and then was such a bored newly wed that all she did all day was clean the house, or something else of some less substantial value. We were spare to the situation, not having ever imagined that feeling was possible; to be given an allotted amount of time and finding yourself without ideas of how to spend that time?

Never.

I had a hard time comprehending not knowing what to do, remembering back to the times when I was in school and would have a month-long Christmas break, scrambling every day because of this overtaking fear that THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH TIME!! The list of things I had wanted to accomplish grew bounds every day and all the while my eyes would get bigger and bigger with this frantic energy which would then make me so overstimulated I would become practically incapable of movement. Then I would sit and watch all of the Ocean’s movies instead of doing anything else. I didn’t know where to start.

Blast.

Needless to say, almost nothing ever got done and I would say, “Well, summer is coming.”

Give me a break.

I was roaming the world every summer. There was no time for anything else.

Those friends who would say, “Oh my gosh! Christmas break lasts forever! I just can’t wait to get back to school,” I could never relate to. I probably dismissed some relationships over that fact; we just didn’t have anything in common.

This problem has not gone away with the dismissal of school. It’s gotten worse. No one told me what it was like being an adult. You have to be at jobs for like 8 + hours a day. ARE YOU SERIOUS?? When in the world do you have time to live? To do the things you love? To do the things that energize you!?

There was this woman speaker on PBS when I was in high school. She must have been a psychologist of sorts and was talking about people who classify themselves as “scanners.” They usually have great ideas…thousands a day... but sometimes don’t complete those projects when they are doing them…because they got another great idea and have to do it NOW. To a certain extent I would classify myself as a scanner. The subjunctive form. The one who looks at something and says, “Do you know what we could do with that!?” But I have pretty good follow-through so I am not 100% scanner.

All this considered, if I had endless amounts of money I would own a warehouse. In that warehouse would be rows and rows of tables. I would be able to sew on one table, and weave on another, and solder on another and on and on and on—completing all those great ideas. While I am waiting for that to happen, though, I will be intentional with the limited time that I have to do all kinds of crazy things using the supplies that I’ve got.

I will admit, though, there is still a panic in my mind. It still makes my eyes bulge a little. I can’t see a documentary on the animal planet without looking at airfare to Addis Ababa, being so overcome by how interesting the life of an Ibex is, and fearing that I MAY NEVER SEE ONE! Or I can’t go to a museum without becoming convinced that one thing my life is missing is the ability to sculpt marble. Seeing a car on the road makes me want to become a taillight designer for BMW. I mean, there is just so much to do on this planet and so many topics give me an unnatural curiosity!

This wonderful friend of mine, who is also very curious, says, “For people like me there is never enough time. I will never live long enough to do all I want to do.” So true. So true. For those who are creative and curious, there is never enough time.

Is it any shock, then, that the only thing that makes me breathe a sigh of relief is that eternity lasts FOREVER? For the believer in Jesus Christ, there is no greater comfort. I have to smile; upon my death I will finally have enough time. And can you imagine what all kinds of perfect and fabulous things there will be to do in Heaven?!? If I think there is stuff to do here, well…whoa…..give me 80 years and I will be singing a different tune.

The nagging of not enough time should be an obvious representation that this world is NOT it. In the words of some fabulous chef somewhere, “Save your spoon darlin’, the best is yet to come.”